I had a nice lunch today with my good friend. She’s a lovely lady, about 5 years older than me and very “hip”. I enjoy her company very much…except for one thing.
Every time we’re together there is at least one comment that she makes about the fact that she’s “fat”. Now, mind you, she’s a size 8 at most and looks great in everything she wears – she’s very attractive and in great shape. Yet no matter what we’re doing, whether sipping coffee, eating out, sitting in the park watching the kids on the swings – every time the conversation somehow turns to how overweight she is or how big her hips are or how she needs to stop eating so much because she’ll not be able to fit into her clothes much longer, etc. And it frustrates me.
I don’t take it personally. I honestly don’t. Even though on a good day I’m happy to squeeze into a size 16. But in a way I do take it personally. I mean, if she thinks a size 6 or 8 is fat, then I must be a whale in her eyes. Of course, she would never say that and I honestly don’t think she means that when she’s making her comments.
But I fear what she and many other women are doing is perpetuating this “skinny is beautiful” mentality. And it’s not healthy for our daughters. Even though my friend may not believe she’s saying “wow, you’re fat” to me or any other person tipping the scales at over 150, that’s definitely what our younger daughters are hearing. “If Mrs. Jones says she’s fat and she can fit in my clothes, wow, Mrs. Smith must be super fat.”
Is it any wonder that our girls are growing up thinking skinny is the end all to life? How can we, as moms and Titus 2 women, help stop the madness when it comes to this? I think that it can start with each of us changing our word choices for one:
Replace “I’m so fat” with “I am fearfully and wonderfully made”
Replace “I really shouldn’t eat this burger – it’ll go straight to my thunder thighs” with “Yum, a burger sounds great!” or “Hmmm I had a burger last night – maybe I’ll get a salad instead.”